Where it began…The journey of a thousand steps!
Ever thought of how seeds grow? How one day they are a small rusty, lifeless looking matter until someone plants them. Sometimes we forget about them, then one day they sprout out of the ground and bear fruit.
My thoughts about seed started when God revealed to me that for the seed to bear fruit, the conditions must be right. Kinda like the parable of the Sower and the different types of grounds … the roadside, the stony ground, the one with the thorns and good soil (Mathew 13:2-9).
Only one of these produced any fruit. The ones that failed to sustain the life of the seed had specific conditions that deterred the fruitfulness of the seed. One had birds that ate up the seed immediately, another was stony which meant not enough dirt to support the process and the other had thorns that choked the seed.
INTROSPECTION
The next thought that came to me was whether God was trying to tell me that there were things in my life that were causing stagnation in specific areas.
But what were they? I was going church as often as I could, my career was headed in the right direction, I was keeping my head above water as a mum to two boys and wife and there were some wins that had come my way.
Even though I knew I was not in my sweet spot, my life was okay. In other words I was “surviving”.
I was however struggling with sick children, I questioned whether finance or being a chartered accountant was really the right career for me, sometimes I felt I was failing as mum, wife and daughter, even when I worked hard I still felt like an imposter, my confidence levels had tumbled down over the years and my priority was everything else other than me.
So maybe God had a point.
Pruning
Just like that, Isaiah 64:8 came to life. I was like clay in my father hands and He began to form me. Then He started to prune me little by little.
One day, as I was thinking about the work He had done to this point, I saw a picture of me covered in shells and His hand removing every single shell, bit by bit to reveal the true me, the me He saw and the me that He created .
The lies were falling off, the lack of knowledge was tumbling down, trauma was run down, wounds were healed and joy was restored. It was such an amazing process of UNSHELLING all the way to abundant living and not just “surviving”. After all he came so I could have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). Surviving was not His best.
Walking the walk?
Then I found myself at one of the most life changing, thought provoking, and jam packed conferences I had ever been to in my life… Heal the nations 2022 by Tree of life church.
At the end of each day I needed to lay down in solitude just to try and understand what had happened. If you haven’t been to this conference and you live in the UK, I highly recommend.
Anyway, staying on topic, one of the speakers Marie Helene spoke about distractions. In that moment It felt as though God had taken my hand and walked me into the museum of my life and minute by minute, with a magnifying glass (making sure I didn’t miss anything ), he unravelled the things that were causing my stagnation and as a result unfruitfulness,
One would think after such an experience there would some kind of urgency, strategy, prayer and fasting to rectify the things which were lovingly highlighted by my father.
Instead, I went to my negotiation and reasoning stage. God, is this really a distraction? Can I survive without this. How would it work if did this? There is nothing I can do at this point (old dog new tricks). I am married – maybe if I was single? I have been doing this all my life – its brought me this far, is this really practical, are you saying my life is a lie? And for the grand finale, what will people say/think?
All this while as a negotiated, God sent people to help me navigate and answer all the questions I had. This was what I called my Gideon moment. I went as far as laying it all on my husband . I said “God if you get him to agree, I will do it right away”. Guess what happened – not only did he agree he decided to partner with me in one of the things I wanted to do.
Shocking right!!
I was left with nothing in me. So I laid down my life as living sacrifice (Romans 12:1 ) and I said “God where should I go and what should I do”.
I have always had a need to share my story to every and anyone who would listen. Mainly because we do not learn lesson just for ourselves but a lesson learned is lesson shared,
I tend to have verbal diarrhoea and for a while I thought it was a weakness. Then somehow, I understood that my personality was part of my calling. I speak very loudly, I definitely do not laugh like a lady and share my heart out.
UNSHELLING
So I started a blog called Unshelling, This is the place where I share the process God is taking me through in all the areas of my life.
This includes lifestyle, career development, parenting, Christian living and abundant living, fashion choices and even meal preparation. Spirit, Soul and body right?
My aim to be as authentic as I can be. I do not claim to know everything but simply like to share my journey of transformation. Just like in any transformation or growth process there are some setbacks.
I like what Carlie Terradez said once “The problem with a living sacrifice is that it tries to crawl off the altar”. I hope that my journey will help others who will find themselves in the places I have been.
I am writing this not from my destination but rather as a walk the journey. As you turn each page, I hope it feels like you were siting with me having a quick breakfast in your favourite coffee shop…. something I like to do with my loved ones.
When you are done, I hope you are refreshed knowing that someone possibly gets you and if God could rescue me, he surely can do it for you too. He is no respecter of persons (Acts10:34).